Disease-To-Please

This was one of those initial words that I learnt as a child yet never brought it to much use for the fear of offending people. After conscious efforts that I finally see myself succeeding, I realize its 1 of the best adaptations I’ve made of late.

Saying ‘NO’ it is.. a word in my dictionary I never knew can bring solutions with a click of a fingure tip. With hindsight, I thought of jotting down its positives. Let me share it with you –

·         It helps me care less for what people would be thinking because people will anyways think the way they want to & more times than not it would depend on their mood. However much I may bother myself with other's reaction, the truth remains that no one dedicates time enough to bother; plus if they need you they will come back to you giving you the benefit of doubt despite your past behaviour.. human tendency. Thus it makes complete sense to care less about what people think & care more about what my heart whispers.

·         It helps me be less critical of myself. Generally I feel guilty about not doing things as per other’s convenience with the advent of that guilt, I end up doing things my heart doesn't approve of. Saying ‘no’ with conviction helps enhance my self esteem.

·         Saying yes every time lets people take me on autopilot mode & I clearly don’t want that. Volunteering should not go overboard. Between the struggle of my own desire & other’s demand I need to draw a line of healthy personal boundaries. [No one deserves to be taken for granted.]

·         When I say no to things that is offered to me I invite the possibility of attracting something better. I can either choose to say yes & allow myself to get into something inconvenient or I can say no & get this across to people that I’m not okay with the offer. At least I’m taking a chance; if I’m lucky enough I might stumble upon something which is better than the previous offer. [You should know when not to compromise with things when you deserve better, right?]

·         Whenever my friends ask for an opinion, I tend to say yes instead of no so that it doesn't hurt them. But I’ve realized it’s wrong advice after all. I can be naïve & polite & still say no, for it will actually guide them in the right direction & help them aspire do something more than a mere compliment. A simple example is when a friend asks, “What do you think of this?” I can say yes, it’s good or I can say no I think you should try something better. People often fail to realize the stress on the word ‘you’. If I’m asked MY opinion I should give them that. Whether to exercise it or not is their take.

·         If I say no to a person a number of times before saying yes they will value my yes a lot more than they would have initially. Also the fact that they are still asking the question in the hope of hearing yes helps me know that my yes is of some importance to them.

Everything said & done, the question of vital concern, is to have the wisdom to know when to use the word this side of the fence & when that side & that I believe is a personal call. As far as this write up is concerned I just wanted to give shape to those tiny little bouts of thought capsules running around in my head borne out of recent experiences I guess..

Have a great day ahead!! :)