The two ‘T’s that followed my otherwise usual ‘S’aturday!!

 “I’ll miss my dance class.. But I never miss my dance class.” This was the first thing that came into my mind when I contemplated whether or not to go ahead with my much awaited dream.. Getting Inked.

At the start of d day I was really nervous. It could have been a usual Saturday but I had chosen otherwise. I was finally getting a tattoo today (T1) & the very thought of it scared me. I even thought will I run away or will I make it? I kept fiddling with that idea until a call from HR shifts ma focus from Tattoo to the Transfer. Yes, the much delayed/avoided transfer was finally here. The date was almost fixed. Next week I need to book my tickets & another 7 days I would be in another city trying to place myself in a whole new world. It was a mixed feeling. I knew I’ve to leave ma comfort zone but I also knew I would be learning something new. So, post call I was fiddling with 2^nd most jitter creating T for the day, Transfer,  until ofcourse....          

I reach the tattoo parlour.. it was filled with hush n buzz.. Saturday eve.. People are getting ready for the Saturday night party.. I was taken to the tattoo room. I met the tattoo artist (whom I had already met earlier). We discussed a bit to come to a consensus & and with the quick passing minutes he was all set to start his work. Butterflies in my stomach n voices in my head start playing rugby or kabbaddi or whatever who cares.. I thought I’ll play some music. I’ll plug in the ear buds so hard that nothing attracts my concentration more than the loud beats. But just when the needle started to sink in ma sensitive (in the words of the tattoo artist) skin, I felt ma friend holding my index finger with his. Magic.. it did not feel as scary as I had expected it to be. May be it pains less when u know there is some1 to take care.

I was unable to hear anything ma friend was telling me to keep my mind engaged. But I was glad he was there. He did nothing special. Just let me hold his hand while I was in pain & I realized when 1 is in need you don’t need to do anything more to comfort him/her.. just a pat, a hug, a shoulder to lean & a hand to hold is the world’s fastest recovery medicine to heal any pain in this world.. I mean it.. Anything.

So, we were done in some 30-40 mins (which was less scary than apprehended. Thx Varun for putting up through all this. U know the meaning of friendship n U’ve been 1.. thx againJ) Later I kept teasing him that now even if we aren’t in contact this tattoo will never let me forget him.

Another 1 hour & I reach home & show my parents the tattoo on my shoulder back (obviously u don’t tell your parents when u r onto some mischief.. adventure yeah..) Since the tattoo needs time to heal I had no option but to sport a tube top at home. My dad’s first reaction was no reaction at all.. with max enthusiasm he said, “so now that u r getting transferred to Mumbai u’ve planned to wear such tube tops on the roads there & flaunt your tattoo around.” Grrr!! My mom on the other hand had a more participating reaction. She asked me all sort of questions starting from design to expenses to who was there with me, etc etc. After a while (I guess two hours) when my dad got grounded after the initial shock (or maybe realized that its no point getting upset now as damage has no repair) he too showed interest in knowing all the details of this adventure trip.

So everything was all right (felt back in place to me) & I decide to watch Gilmore girls as I had nothing more interesting lined up for the usual S-aturday night. (Suddenly) much as a ritual my mom comes in & asks if I would like to have a glass of water as she was going off to sleep & BOOM!!! I suddenly realize m gonna miss this.. m gonna miss this care once m gone & tears rolled out of my eyes slowly.. mom’s ever nagging questions & dad’s ever protecting gestures.. & then I cry a little more.. Then I plan to & write this blog & now m gonna finish that last episode of Gilmore girls season 2 which I left in between for this writing & finally go off to sleep with the believe that everything will be all right & everything happens for good J

Good night room.. I’m so gonna miss u u have no idea!! 

Disease-To-Please

This was one of those initial words that I learnt as a child yet never brought it to much use for the fear of offending people. After conscious efforts that I finally see myself succeeding, I realize its 1 of the best adaptations I’ve made of late.

Saying ‘NO’ it is.. a word in my dictionary I never knew can bring solutions with a click of a fingure tip. With hindsight, I thought of jotting down its positives. Let me share it with you –

·         It helps me care less for what people would be thinking because people will anyways think the way they want to & more times than not it would depend on their mood. However much I may bother myself with other's reaction, the truth remains that no one dedicates time enough to bother; plus if they need you they will come back to you giving you the benefit of doubt despite your past behaviour.. human tendency. Thus it makes complete sense to care less about what people think & care more about what my heart whispers.

·         It helps me be less critical of myself. Generally I feel guilty about not doing things as per other’s convenience with the advent of that guilt, I end up doing things my heart doesn't approve of. Saying ‘no’ with conviction helps enhance my self esteem.

·         Saying yes every time lets people take me on autopilot mode & I clearly don’t want that. Volunteering should not go overboard. Between the struggle of my own desire & other’s demand I need to draw a line of healthy personal boundaries. [No one deserves to be taken for granted.]

·         When I say no to things that is offered to me I invite the possibility of attracting something better. I can either choose to say yes & allow myself to get into something inconvenient or I can say no & get this across to people that I’m not okay with the offer. At least I’m taking a chance; if I’m lucky enough I might stumble upon something which is better than the previous offer. [You should know when not to compromise with things when you deserve better, right?]

·         Whenever my friends ask for an opinion, I tend to say yes instead of no so that it doesn't hurt them. But I’ve realized it’s wrong advice after all. I can be naïve & polite & still say no, for it will actually guide them in the right direction & help them aspire do something more than a mere compliment. A simple example is when a friend asks, “What do you think of this?” I can say yes, it’s good or I can say no I think you should try something better. People often fail to realize the stress on the word ‘you’. If I’m asked MY opinion I should give them that. Whether to exercise it or not is their take.

·         If I say no to a person a number of times before saying yes they will value my yes a lot more than they would have initially. Also the fact that they are still asking the question in the hope of hearing yes helps me know that my yes is of some importance to them.

Everything said & done, the question of vital concern, is to have the wisdom to know when to use the word this side of the fence & when that side & that I believe is a personal call. As far as this write up is concerned I just wanted to give shape to those tiny little bouts of thought capsules running around in my head borne out of recent experiences I guess..

Have a great day ahead!! :)

PEHCHAAN KAUN

“Tumhi din chade, tumhi din dhale, Tumhi ho bandhu, sakha tumhi....”

If God nvr created smthing as beautiful n as supportive as u, I rilly cudnt hv imagined surviving it all thru.. frm d sunshine of d mrng 2d darkness of d nyt, frm d excitement of d parties 2d calmness of lone tym, frm d smoothness of d breeze 2d mist of d waves, ur touch has alwyz comforted me. U’ve been my best companion.. wen I wanted 2 express but was shy, wen I wanted 2 cry but was afraid, wen I wanted 2 celebrate but was alone n wen I wanted 2 scream but was helpless.. how u managed 2 rescue me every single tym wen I needed u d most, u’ve been thr 4 me.. always...

U've a magic. U understand my mood. U hear me. U guide me. If not fr u, I wud never have believed in d concept of telepathy. In gud tyms n bad, wen we connect I can feel ur magic working. I dun mind wen u hit me becoz wen u hit me it never pains. U’ve actually become my drug. I’m so addicted 2u. By d way, d smile u gave me.. m wearing it now n it luks perfect on me J

All d while I was trying too hard n u jus made it so easy.. I only had 2 follow u. U’ve a spcl way of simplifying things by taking up dat place in d brain whr problem rests. U jus kick it off. I simply luv u fr dat J D best part about u is dat u r so dependable. I noe I can count on u.. any moment, any circumstance. N seriously I dun find it silly at all 2 acknowledge d fact dat I’m foreva indebted 2u n I rilly wanna thank God 4 getting u into ma lyf n making it sail thru. Wid u I can anytym bounce n rule. Dear MUSIC u totally rock ma world :D :D

Thankees n Cheers!!